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Showing posts with label Finding Peace. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Finding Peace. Show all posts

Friday, January 2, 2015

Seasons of change, new years and a the human condition.



We all carry things in common. Basic concepts of living as a human on a moving planet. We are all born and we all die. We all experience birth and death. 
We all require feeding and care to get started. We all require hope to keep going. We ALL have innate longings and purpose, though not all pursue them. We do not all have the “right” to choose, but we do all have the ability to make choices. All of us.  



We are not all equipped equally to approach this massive gift of choice.  It can feel like we are betrayed by our own bodies, the very gift of life and living and yet it comes with fragility and broken-ness built in. 

Almost like we were made to fly but not made with wings. 


Here then comes the other birthright we all receive when we come into this world. 

Seasons. 
Change. 
The journey of growing. 




Starting small and helpless, reliant, subordinate. Growing to challenge it all with independence and self exploration, a time when we make the most brazen choices, because we figure that we can! Then, much later, we become wiser, full of experience and learning all building up to a complete depth of consciousness that only the long journey can bring you to. And only if you have attended it.  

Seasoned.




As a child says, and as my own children say, when a wait time of, say, five minutes is placed on them… “ ooooooh noooooo, that will take forever!”

As parents we just shake our heads. But the truth is that we could not possibly take on the journey of life if we thought we had to wait a lifetime for it. We need it in small bites, small changes and short seasons. In bits and pieces, so we can accumulate all the pieces of the puzzle without becoming daunted, even exasperated by the task. 




Therefore I am profoundly grateful for the calendar that breaks it down to days, months and years. And ,yes, for each new year. For not knowing the future, but attending to it anyways. To the opportunity to change and make new choices. To teach another generation to do the same. 

Cheers to a new year, a new season of life, and to living <3 





~daily amazed







Sunday, January 6, 2013

It's My Party and I Can Have Peace If I Want To...

So, I am 37 now. It doesn't mean much except it affords me a chance to reflect on the past year and also my life as a whole. I have so much more peace now and seem to have more as I get older. 


This year was full of challenges and pain and also eye opening experiences. The kind that you have to make a choice about whether to be "bitter or better" as they say...



I have found Aspergers to be liberating. I have found peace in understanding my son and myself better than ever before. 


And now, on MY day (as my oldest says), I realize I can start being OKAY with how I am.  Start. Its a process, but I am on THAT journey now. Amen. 


Peace,
Daily Amayzed

Tuesday, September 11, 2012

The Dog Days ARE Over

Wow, it's been a long summer.  I just looked back and realized my last post was on April 28th. The very next day was Silly dilly's 7th birthday, and also the day that I got the call that my Father wasn't going to make it.

He'd been in the hospital for 6 weeks, getting worse, without real answers. This was the day his wife called me to tell me that they had answers, and he only had a short time left. Cancer, as it does, had ravaged him. I was on the plane that night.

I was blessed to have almost a week, along side my step-sisters and their moms, to care for him and get closure. To be there the moment he passed. It is a curse and a blessing to be a part of moments that profound. It is a gift.

(okay, deep breath, whew)

So, since there has been so many changes in my life. Some wonderful and some horrible. My dear, poor children definitely made the most sacrifice and didn't see me much. I was traveling and working so much, their wonderful father took great care of them.

But kids miss their moms... it can't be helped.

Now I am home again, refocusing on the most important job I ever had, my kids well being.

The Bigs started back to school, and for Wild Man that meant kindergarten!!!

It's a revelation! But it's also a terrifying challenge to get it right. He has an outdated IEP and two wonderful teachers, and we're just beginning, so I am staying open minded and optimistic. I know that his feelings about school are being developed through this process and I NEED him to have positive feelings.

All my kids have their own "special" needs, like all children. I understand now how some parents choose to "stay home" for their kids. As a working parent, I never really got it until now.

So, it's time to shake the etch-a-sketch and refocus on them, make sure they are getting the support they need, make sure they aren't slipping through the cracks, make sure they feel loved and secure.

It's a big job, but somebody HAS to do it.

Another curse and blessing rolled into one. Another gift. Thank GOD for the cycle of life that gives us this much hope.