He'd been in the hospital for 6 weeks, getting worse, without real answers. This was the day his wife called me to tell me that they had answers, and he only had a short time left. Cancer, as it does, had ravaged him. I was on the plane that night.
I was blessed to have almost a week, along side my step-sisters and their moms, to care for him and get closure. To be there the moment he passed. It is a curse and a blessing to be a part of moments that profound. It is a gift.
(okay, deep breath, whew)
So, since there has been so many changes in my life. Some wonderful and some horrible. My dear, poor children definitely made the most sacrifice and didn't see me much. I was traveling and working so much, their wonderful father took great care of them.
But kids miss their moms... it can't be helped.
Now I am home again, refocusing on the most important job I ever had, my kids well being.
The Bigs started back to school, and for Wild Man that meant kindergarten!!!
It's a revelation! But it's also a terrifying challenge to get it right. He has an outdated IEP and two wonderful teachers, and we're just beginning, so I am staying open minded and optimistic. I know that his feelings about school are being developed through this process and I NEED him to have positive feelings.
All my kids have their own "special" needs, like all children. I understand now how some parents choose to "stay home" for their kids. As a working parent, I never really got it until now.
So, it's time to shake the etch-a-sketch and refocus on them, make sure they are getting the support they need, make sure they aren't slipping through the cracks, make sure they feel loved and secure.
It's a big job, but somebody HAS to do it.
Another curse and blessing rolled into one. Another gift. Thank GOD for the cycle of life that gives us this much hope.
No comments:
Post a Comment