Tuesday, September 24, 2013

A Letter To Teachers

Open House for Kindergarten... They didn't see me coming. I was already tired before we got there. 

I LOVE teachers. I'd lose my sanity without them. I want my kids to be educated and KNOW I can't be the one to do it.

I LOVE teachers. Seriously. 

But listen. 

I  have what the school calls an "exceptional" child. It's not just a long day at school. It's a long day at home. 

When he's at school, I am at home trying to figure out our next move, 
next IEP, 
next meds to try and fail. 
Next doctor. 
Next list of things to try. 

To try and make things better. To try and not see my son suffer when his emotions shatter... daily. 

To try and find time for balance and support for his sisters and our family as a whole. 

So, it might not be fair to have the burden of teaching, learning, understanding, compassion, assistance and more... on the shoulders of a teacher alone. Even more a Regular Education teacher without knowledge or training in the Special Needs that must include in their classrooms.

 But sometimes if feels like the system does expect them to represtent with or without supports. 

I feel at once guilty for even asking for more help and understanding and also am frustrated when I don't. 

What do we do? How do we bridge the gap of understanding. How do we communicate with the person our child relies on to help navigate the days. 

 As a "Special Needs Parent" I am instructed by well written books to:

Be positive
Don't show emotions
Bring Food 
Be Helpful and Nice 
Use the "nice thing, critisism or request, nice thing" sandwhich - EVERY time. 
Be willing to comprimse. 
Be educated on the laws
Be educated on the cirriculum
Be your childs best advocate
Keep your files organized
Make sure everything is in writing
Etc... Etc.. Etc...

If you are wondering "what the heck is she tring to say?"... And perhaps you should be. I am trying to say that I come to school with baggage. I spent years searching for answers and trying to understand my child. Myself. My family. I send them to school because I am supposed to, because they need an education. But the system is not set up for my children. It's not an easy thing to figure out. 

I come with baggage. With exhaution from our journey. You tell me I "HAVE to believe its going to be a good year in order for it to be so". But I am on a long journy with hills and valleys. And nothing will get done if I just "believe" it will. 

I have to work on it, 
research it,
implement it, 
teach others about it,
try things,
recognize successes,
work on it some more,
I have to keep going.

WE are not trying to be difficult, depressing or pessimistic. 
If we were we'd just give up and not fight so hard. We are so optimistic we can do amazing things for our children, that we sometimes BREAK in the weight of our optimism.

We are a team. You and I. We are working together for my child to be "OK". But I bear the whole burden of what we do. I go on from teacher to teacher, school to schoool, therapist to therapist. 
I am willing to try and follow all the rules mentioned above. I will try to make it easier on you. 
But I just want 2 things....

Compassion and Communication. I will give you the same. And then we can be a good team.

1 comment:

  1. I just want to give you a big hug! I cannot imagine how difficult & challenging life can be sometimes. Thank you for sharing your heart. This is a lesson for us all.